Becoming Batman. Without the billions.
ABOUT THE BAT
For most everyone else, I’m Instagram’s favorite fitness, fighting, fashion, and forensics superhero influencer! Well, micro-influencer. Nano-influencer?
I live in Gotham City, with four plants, all of which are named Robin.
FOLLOWING THE MISSION, WHEREVER IT LEADS.
Nutrition. Forensics. Gadget how-tos. Fashion. Fighting. Fitness. We’ve got 80 years to cover!
PENDING BATSKILLS
Damian Tier
Strength
Lift twice my bodyweight
Do 1,000 push-ups in one day
Lift bodyweight over my head
Mobility
Do an unassisted backflip
Do a handstand for ten seconds
Do three cartwheels in a row
Do standing bridge, then flip over
Increase vertical leap by 9”
Increase long jump by 6”
Ten squats on balance board without touching ground
Stealth & Evasion
Pick a lock in one minute
Free self from handcuffs
Create five different disguises
Throw voice successfully
Combat
Gain second degree belt in five martial arts
15 bullseyes with throwing knives
Perform a flawless punch/dodge/weave combination for one minute
Kick above my head
Learn and demonstrate LIVE five ways to choke a man out
Win one fencing match
Endurance
Hold breath underwater for over 1:15
Traversal
Complete stunt driving course
Scale a two-story climbing wall
Brain Work
Ridealong with private investigators
Complete hacking course
Learn how to collect and search for fingerprints
Interview actual assassin
Memorize 30 digits of Pi
Learn how to say, “The Joker cannot win” and “I believe in Harvey Dent” in ten languages
Beat Rubik’s Cube in under four minutes
Miscellaneous
Feed a baby bat
Perform five TikTok dance routines (under the tutelage of a dance instructor)
Make pilgrimage to Bracken Cave, home to the world’s largest population of bats
Sew own bat-costume
Raise $5,000 for job training for incarcerated individuals
Dick Tier
Strength
Lift three times my bodyweight
Do 1000 push-ups a day for five days
Squat twice my bodyweight
Mobility
Do a rings press up, flip, and dismount
Do the splits
Increase vertical leap by 15”
Juggle while on a balance board
Stealth & Evasion
Craft five ninja-style smoke bombs
Completely fool one close friend or relative with disguise
Free self from straight jacket
Tail friend successfully until destination
Throw voice while drinking water
Combat
Gain fourth degree belt in FIVE martial arts of second degree belt in NINE martial arts
Land one punch against a professional fighter in an exhibition match
Complete throwing knife course (moving while throwing) without missing
Travel to Philippines for escrima stick training course
Spinning slow-mo jump kick a jug full of water and smash it like Jean Claude Van Damme
Endurance
Hold breath underwater for over 2:00
Meditate in underwear in sub-freezing weather for 30 minutes
Traversal
Ride a horse through a desert
Pilot a helicopter for 15 minutes
Scale a three story building with grappling hook
Cross a gap on a tightrope
Repair a motorcycle
Brain Work
Complete crime scene investigation course
Spend day with medical examiner
Hack unsuspecting friend’s phone, leave Batman pictures on it
Hold Batman-related conversation in Russisan, Mandarin, French, Spanish, and Mongolian
Build database of 50 fingerprints
Miscellaneous
Summit Bat Mountain in California
Perform one dance routine by @cost_n_mayor
Craft one specialty bat-suit
Raise 20K for job training for incarcerated and formerly incarcerated individuals
Bruce Tier
Strength
Fridge carry for 100 meters
Bench press twice my body weight
Mobility
Do a flipping dismount off uneven bars
Qualify for Ninja Warrior (or similar)
Stealth & Evasion
Free self from straight jacket set on fire
Live five days in disguise
Combat
Exhibition match in five different martial arts
Teach one minor one belt level in one martial art
Perform flawless three-cut tameshigiri
Hold sword fight on a frozen lake
Craft 3 batarangs
Endurance
Survive ten minutes in 40 degree water
Sensory deprivation tank for three hours
Take hallucinogens alone in cave
Traversal
Paraglide
Travel 15 miles on foot alone through arctic, jungle, and desert terrain
Jump from one rooftop to another rooftop
Build and successfully use grappling gun
Fix up an old car into the Batmobile
Brain Work
Get hired as private detective for one job
Hack into major company network; leave harmless bat-themed Easter Egg
Enter memory contest and finish in top five
Perform ventriloquism act to audience
Miscellaneous
Purchase dilapidated property and turn into training and crime-solving lair
Enter tango competition and finish in top five
Create own dance routine
Get photographed at three different society events wearing a tuxedo
Volunteer forty hours with the mentally ill
Make pilgrimage to Paro Taktsang, the monastery in Batman Begins
Raise 100K for job training for incarcerated and formerly incarcerated individuals
FAQs
What was the inspiration for Budget Batman?
I like the idea that Batman is a guy who is just really good at learning stuff. 10 years ago, I had an idea for the Budget Batman Blog, where presumably I’d write long winded posts about martial arts training. Perhaps luckily, I didn’t pursue it until bored during the pandemic, when the idea was reborn as a warped twist on an Instagram fitness influencer. As I was doing it, I realized I wanted it to be a mix of Adam West Batman going through Christian Bale Batman’s grueling training.
Will you tell me who you really are?
You might stumble onto it on your own (hint: you may have heard me before), but I’m not going to tell you. Here’s why. First, I value privacy. I could have done this on my personal Instagram account, but I didn’t. A wall of privacy frees me to do things that I wouldn’t otherwise. Second, you can still get to know me through this persona. I’d argue that I reveal a lot of truth about myself. Third, it spoils the ending, chum! My last post is me without the mask.
Can I be your Robin?
You can’t be my Robin — because I already have one — but you can be a Robin if you want. I support anyone getting in shape.
What’s your training like?
I train 5-6 days per week. Three days I target specific areas (legs + abs, chest/shoulders/triceps, biceps/back + abs) with heavier weights. One-two days I do skills training. One day I do cardio.
I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m probably going to switch to an upper body / lower body split.
Do you have an OnlyFans account?
No, but no shame to people who do! Budget Batman is a wholesome endeavor, and I feel like OnlyFans might attract people who are only looking for some titillation. Also, for now, I’d like to try to keep a free content with donations and advertising model.
Are you gay?
I’m not, but I’m incredibly fortunate to have many passionate LGBTQ+ fans. Seriously, if I get anywhere on the Internet, it will probably be because of gay people. I will not forget this, and I pledge to use my platform to be an ally for LGBTQ+ causes.
By the way, my pronouns are he/him.
What’s your favorite thing you’ve done so far?
Definitely four backflips, as I am terrified of heights. I was shaking for hours.
What’s your goal?
Obviously, I want to emulate Batman physically and intellectually. But I also want to be a good person — a hero come to life. I try to take time to reach out if I see someone in distress on Instagram — particularly anyone being bullied or experiencing some mental health issues. (Unfortunately, there are a lot of both in the cosplay community!) These are two things Batman would understand well.
If you are having a tough time, please send me a direct message. It might take me awhile, but I will get back to you.
BECOME AN ALLY.
Even though I’m on a budget, I spend a lot as Budget Batman. With every dollar you donate, I can spend more time learning BatSkills and making content about it instead of working my best years away for my cruel, oppressive new media bosses as my secret identity. Don’t you want a safer Gotham City and a more robust Instagram account?!? Think about your priorities, chum!
In all seriousness, thank you for considering such a silly thing. Please only do so after you’ve taken care of yourself, your family, your friends, your favorite charities, your local homeless population, and several other better Instagram personas. I promise I will be extra entertaining for you, and will send you a handwritten thank you note.
THE HALL OF ALLIES.
Dedicated to those who have made a material contribution to The Budget Batman.
Gotham is safer for their efforts and sacrifices.
@davidmccagg
@geoffiethekid
@sarahluttinger
THE FEED.
SEND THE SIGNAL.
Not the real BatSignal. That would be prohibitively expensive, I checked. Rather, send an email with a subject of “BAT SIGNAL,” and I’ll picture a bat signal in my head.
Budget Batman
Economical Crime Fighting
Email: imbudgetbatman at gmail.com